Sunday, December 12, 2010

Once upon a time in a land far away...

That night I did not say the words 'I love u'.... to her
That night, that great night, oh my God....

It is as though it was yesterday.
One day to her Birthday
We were meeting after a long time and we went out to dinner
It was a cold evening...
There was a nice wind blowing and so very cool and great
I had feelings for her for about a month then but never before had I revealed it to her
We finished dinner in a restaurant and then we walked the way to the temple about a km away
She was like her usual self, chatterbox firing on all cylinders
That day I was unusually silent, that’s because, I could not speak to her properly
My heart was telling me look at her, she is just a friend to you, a pure heart with no hidden thoughts
But I was not like that, she was becoming my close friend and I could not speak to her a lot without my heart pricking me for the feelings that I had for her concealed
When we reached the temple it was like 9-9:30 at night and already very dark and cold
She was like asking me what was bugging me, she so much liked me as a friend that she was genuinely worried that something’s wrong and was asking about home, subjects and friends trying to figure out what was wrong and where
Then, we usually spent some time at the steps of the temple before returning back to our hostels
We just walked in... And settled on the steps. Then also she was like all over trying to understand what the problem was with me
Then I started talking and she stopped
She did not speak for the rest of the night
I told her that what a wonderful friend I had got and I am afraid that I could not cheat her with having some feelings for her on the inside and not pretending there is nothing at all....
I told her how when she had gone home for holidays a month back, how much I missed her and that’s when I started realizing that I was in love with her.
And in the recent times like we did not meet for a week or 10 days so and I was longing to be with her.
I told her all that I felt for her and she was just staring at the ground saying nothing.....
I talked to her till it was 10:45 time for her to go to her hostel....
She did not say a thing....
When we walked back we walked in silence, two confused souls not knowing what to do, too much confusion in them that words did not come out at all
I told her that I had told out everything in my mind and am sorry for having to hurt her, but she said she was not hurt
She was happy that I could feel better and when she was leaving, I called her back and wished her a Happy Birthday....
I walked back to my hostel in gloom not knowing what to do, for I had lost a dear friend...
I really feel that I am walking back right now????
Thoughts racing across my mind, unsure of whether I had done the right thing or not.....
We did not see each other for a few days, though we used to mail
I told her to forget about the whole thing and she told me that she would

Some days passed by, slowly, very slowly, painfully slowly.
That day we had some snacks in the evening at a roadside shop
And then she said that we would go to the temple. Well we had gone to the temple some times before that... So I found nothing curious, only that her silence was obvious and I was getting uncomfortable
We were at the temple and after giving our salutations to the deities, we settled on the steps....
That is when she started talking about the whole thing.
She told me that she never had any feelings for me.
I told her to just forget it, but there was this feeling in me that was saying that something is bound to happen that day. Then she told me that till I told her about what I was thinking she considered me as a close friend and nothing else.
Then she started asking me, if people are my home will agree to love marriage and stuff...
I said yes they would, not initially but with persuasion and when I am independent and establish a life they would def agree. I was like seeing a light in what I had taken to be a dead end.
Then, she told me that people in her house they will never tolerate that. Her family was a bit conservative
I know that she is the only child and that her parents would do any amount for her
I told her that her parents will do what is best for her and if they are shown that I am best for you then they will surely agree... I know I was stepping a bit beyond the line, but I was like a drunken man then
There was this time when she would be afraid of what her parents would say and I was comforting her that her parents would want only her happiness beyond anything else...
Finally when I felt that I was just doing too much and ruining the relationship, her life and my life, I was like telling her that. Its okay, I want to be with you than be without. And lets leave it.
She was sitting close to me on the steps outside the temple. It was around 9:30 types....
Then she like told me the sweetest thing ever and did the sweetest thing that ever happened in my life.

She gently leaned over my shoulder and said "No da, I don’t want to lose you"
That minute my heart skipped a beat and I knew that we were in love.

That was the second that I could hear the two hearts that beat as one...


My cousin could have gone to the function: 50% = 0.5
I could have refused to go to the function: 50% = 0.5
She could have skipped attending the function: 50% = 0.5 (We got introduced at the function!!!)

I traveling the subsequent weekend: 50% = 0.5
She traveling the subsequent weekend: 50% = 0.5
I taking the intercity express = (1 of 2 trains and bus) = 33% = 0.33
She taking the intercity express = (1 of 5 trains) = 20% = 0.20

I being on the same coach as Her = (1 of 10 coaches * 1 of 10 coaches) = 1% = 0.01 (Phew)
I getting down and she getting in at the same instant = (1 second of 10 minutes * 1 second of 10 minutes) = 0.0004% = 0.000004 (Yikes)

I taking courage to go and talk to her: 100% (always on the lookout) = 1

Total probability that we could have met up: 0.000000000082500
So there was a 1 in 1212,12,12,121 (1 in 1212+ crore) chance that we could have met up and still it happened.
Paulo Coelho now I believe in you!

Friday, June 04, 2010

Musings on his birthday...

My earliest memory of him was "silent and soft spoken cousin of mine". Never talkative, but always very attached to me. We always met during childhood summer holidays at Kotagiri, my native and his maternal grandmother's place. Ever so fluent in English that I used to initially feel nervous talking to him, but then I got very comfortable. We were always in the same teams regardless of the games we played - cricket, seven stones, dark room, or treasure hunt. Also part of the same company in Tambola (Housie housie) games,  we shared the spoils and attacked the other companies with the same aggression!

The only time I remember being on different sides was during the battle of 'the slipper throwing' that took place in the 'the between tea estate'. Valiantly fought by my brother on one side and his brother on the other, we took opposite sides in calming tensions down and facilitating the signing of '100 years of peace - treaty'. That treaty is still in force! Boy, those were the days of fun. When I finished school, I missed out on the Kotagiri action and it was not till I finished college that we had a change to get back together again.

Six months of in-plant training in Bangalore and my mom packed me off to stay at my aunt's (his mothers) in Bangalore and thus restarted fun filled time with my him. I was happy to get together with him after a long time. He had changed much but his soft and pleasant nature still remained. He ventured into college, made friends, become a biker and started to grow up. His one talent I still cannot figure out. You can sit right next to him on the phone, but will not be able to hear one word of the conversation. I am still puzzled how he can pull that off and still be heard on the other end.

Some of these times are etched in my memory. Days spent lazing around the MG road side walk (now sadly no more), crossing over to the Food world and back with popcorn or ice cream and ogling at the crowd. Me and him used to be the innocent folk of that age. My aunt and elder cousin would plan frequent tricks on me and we would all have a nice laugh. We stayed up in a small rented house in east Bangalore close to his college and those six months in someways shaped the men that we are today.

Placement in Chennai moved me there and yet we were in constant touch. I visited Bangalore once during my one and half years in Chennai and the reunion was nice. But nothing nicer than moving back to Bangalore and my aunt's house after getting a job here. My elder cousin was in Hyderabad and that renewed the bond between me and him. I get to work and he gets to college and when we come back, we shared stories and weekends we would go to malls or movies and sometimes to play cricket together. We would seldom help my aunt at home except shopping at the Madiwala market on Sundays.

Super times was when we started jogging in the mornings and the whole while we would be chatting. Mostly it would be me talking and he playing a great listener. I miss those times and the lack of exercise shows on my present state. I watched him blossom out from a seldom spoken, silent teenager to a confident and  responsible adult with a firm grasp of things. He finished up with college and crisis and moved on to a job of his choice. I dont think I have an influence of the way he has transformed, rather I would attribute that to the company of his friends and colleagues. 

He used to follow his role model blindly, without thinking what he really wants. He did that till he finished up with graduation and and wanted to go into the same career. He faced crisis and I watched him overcome the odds and transform. I think that was the one thing that changed his outlook and perspective for the best. From a confused adolescent to where he is right now is such a world of difference. 

He is a now a flamboyant guy, full of panache. He has a distinct career and ambitious plans. He is exuberant and mingles with folk with flair. Liked by all, he is the toast of all occasions. He is the most handsome guy of my bloodline and easily now the fittest.  I am so much proud of him, of having grown up with him and watching and learning from him. 

Today on his birthday, I wish him life's best as always and request a place beside him at all the greats that he is going to scale as life and career take him higher and higher. Let the eagles fly and the brightness is beyond.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Flat tyre

10 PM on a Saturday evening and departing from my relative's place and my car's front right tyre is flat. Replaced with the spare and drove back home. Happy that nothing happened because the next day (Sunday) evening, I find that the replaced tyre is also flat... Yeah my car was grounded but glad that it did not happen in the middle of no where!

Monday comes and I get both the flat tyres fixed. One is a routine puncture whereas the other is a bad tube (split mouth and bad patches) and is promptly replaced. The tyre with the new tube goes into the boot for the spare and I imagine that this will be the end of the bad weekend with flat tyres.

I am so mistaken... Ask me how. Following monday, I am driving back from office to pick her up and get back to my cozy home, when on outer ring road close to the Sarjapur road junction, an auto wala stops me. I roll my window down and he calls in... FLAT TYRE and I am thinking one thing... NOT AGAIN.

Thats not the end of things, I roll up my sleeves and quickly get the car up on the jack and replace the flat tyre (front left one) with the spare one from the boot. After all the spare tyre has got a new tube. As the jack unwinds and the car comes down to ground level, thousands of thundering typhoons! the spare... with the new tube... is also FLAT. Jeeks what in the world is happening!

At that point my worst nightmare is a simple one, two words - FLAT TYRE!
Wow... 4 punctures in 2 weeks, thats odd... I think I must take my car back to the temple for a round two of some pujas!!!

Wanna know what happened later? Wait for part 2!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Coimbatore trip - Jan end 2010

My house (read Villa) in Coimbatore was being vacated. I had found new tenants for occupancy but the house needed some upkeep and my uncle next door was not in town to take care. So the task needed someone to oversee the proceedings. I had already given the maintenance to my Engineer who constructed the house and he had given his word that we will  be able to perform the required maintenance and upkeep in 4 days time.

So this forced me to take a couple days off and combine with the weekend of 30 and 31st of Jan for a 4 day long weekend. We checked for tickets and trains were all overbooked, these days these trains are always so. Anyways I was bent on driving and back and so did not give a thought on the buses. Pallavi decided to join me and there was no more thought. Driving it was to be...

This time around I tried a different route. Actually it is the very old way to Coimbatore before the glorious highway NH 7 was built. I took a right turn from Hosur towards Rayakottai. A pretty scenic and arduous route, will keep you in in rapt attention on the road as we negotiate the twists and turns. The highway passes through umpteen number of villages. Rayakottai to Palacode and beyond the state highway finally merges on to the NH 7 past Dharmapuri.

The sad thing is that the toll way is situated just after the re-entry and so I had to pay the toll even if I did not use the NH 7! We had ensured that we left Bangalore early in the afternoon so that by sun down we had turned right at Thoppur on the way to Mettur and then to Bhavani. We reached Erode just in time for dinner. Thoppur to Mettur, the road was ok, Mettur to Bhavani there is work in progress and from there to Erode is no distance at all.

I was scheduled to meet the painting folk at 10 AM the next day and did a pit stop at my sister-in-law's place for breakfast. That done I reached the home and met up with the painters. The painting and maintenance activities went on for another 3 days. In the mean time I met up with my tenants who were moving out to their new house down the street. We settled things and I wrote them the settlement cheque.

Given the duration of my stay in Coimbatore, I got time off to meet a lot of people. I visited Baby aunty for dinner one evening and met up with her and Santhi aunty and Logu mama. They are cousins of my dad and stay in Race course. I make a quick trip to Pollachi, stayed for the day and in the morning visited Masaniamman temple at Annamalai with my mom. Driving there was fun and nostalgic.

This time around I have been lucky. The house is not left unoccupied even for a day. I did some ground work and that clicked. I found some good tenants who I believe would take good care of the house and I spent some time showing them around and making sure that they are kept happy. Finally I handed over the property to them and signed the rental agreement and Sunday afternoon left from Coimbatore to Erode.

There was such a lot of traffic before I hit the highway and after that the ride was quick and smooth. I lunch ed in Erode and picked up Pallavi. We left Erode at around 5 after a quick visit  to Pallavi's uncle place. We retraced the same route to Thoppur and made it to the highway before dark. From that it was like playing a video game. It was 10 when we reached Bangalore and just about the right time to take the elevated highway as we passed from Electronics city to Silk board. Amazing is just the word for this lovely infrastructure. It felt like driving in the US.

I think slowly things are catching up.